


Sorrow

by AnnaOnTheMoon



Series: Flufftober [28]
Category: Star Trek: The Next Generation
Genre: Episode Tag, F/M, Fluff, Flufftober, dealing with death
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2018-10-28
Updated: 2018-10-28
Packaged: 2019-08-08 21:54:22
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,959
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/16437518
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/AnnaOnTheMoon/pseuds/AnnaOnTheMoon
Summary: Beverly and Jean-Luc deal with Walker's death.A sort of episode tag for Conspiracy.





	Sorrow

Beverly reached for Jean-Luc’s hand after Worf confirmed the debris they were looking at belonged to the _Horatio_. He gave her hand a comforting squeeze, which did not go unnoticed by the rest of the crew.  Over the course of their first year together the senior staff had learned, mostly via Wesley, that their Captain and Chief Medical Officer were close friends and Beverly’s late husband had served under the Captain on his last assignment.  Wesley had quite cheerfully explained in Ten Forward one evening that Captain Picard and his father had been best friends, and Wesley and his mother had been visited frequently by the Captain after his father’s death.  So it was no surprise to the crew present to see the two of them holding hands upon hearing about the supposed death of one of their other close friends.

Jean-Luc dared a glance at Beverly.  She was keeping herself together for the sake of the crew, but he could tell her eyes were glassy with unshed tears.  He leaned over and whispered into her ear, “My Ready Room?”  She nodded and after a glance at Deanna, headed for the small office.  “Number One, you have the bridge.  Counsellor...would you please join us?” 

Jean-Luc and Deanna found Beverly standing at the replicator in the corner, tray of drinks in her hand.  “Tea for you, Jean-Luc?  Deanna, I got you a hot chocolate.” 

“Thanks, Bev.  But you didn’t have to.” 

“Dee, I needed to do _something_.” Deanna gratefully accepted the tray from Beverly and carried it to the small sofa in Jean-Luc’s office. “I understand.”

Deanna observed as the pair sat extremely close to one another on the sofa.  Jean-Luc’s hand came down on Beverly’s knee and she rested her hand on top of his.  It was rare for them to show any outwardly affection towards one another around anyone other than Wesley as they were trying to maintain a professional front for the crew, but today that didn’t matter. Jean-Luc needed to feel Beverly just as much as she needed to feel him. 

As they sipped their drinks, Deanna probed the pair.  Both were extremely distraught and upset, but she also could feel the love the two shared.  Their love had been a steady force on the ship from the beginning, and it almost comforted Deanna.  “Tell me about Walker.” 

“Walker and I met when we were cadets on assignment from the Academy.  We hit it off right away and became fast friends.  When we returned to the Academy, he introduced me to his roommate, Jack Crusher.  The three of us, as I told you earlier, became inseparable.” 

“I met Walker at a bar, of all places,” Beverly laughed.  “We hit it off, but there were no romantic feelings between us.  He wanted to introduce me to Jean-Luc and Jack.  He thought I would get along with Jean-Luc,” She paused, and Deanna raised her eyebrows.  Jean-Luc moved his hand from her knee to wrap his arm across her back.  “I know.  I’m sorry I cancelled.”  He pressed a light kiss against her temple, forgetting his counsellor was sitting opposite them.  Deanna wondered what had happened and cleared her throat.  “Sorry, Counsellor.”

“Captain, it’s good to see you expressing your feelings.” 

“Yes, well.  I think Beverly and my feelings for one another are a private matter and not to be discussed”

“Of course, Sir,” Deanna focussed back on Beverly. “So Walker introduced you to Jack?”  She nodded. 

“And so our threesome became a foursome.  Beverly, Jack, Walker, and I spent all our available shore leave together and I even managed to get us all onto the _Stargazer_ briefly while Beverly was still a cadet.”  Beverly grinned. “We had the best time.” 

“Indeed.”

“When did you and Walker drift apart?”  Deanna tried steering the conversation once more.  “We didn’t, not really.  It _had_ been a while since we had spoken, but we always tried to send letters to each other.  What about you, Beverly?”

“After Jack died, Walker came to visit me a few times without you, did you know?”  Jean-Luc shook his head. “He never said.” 

“Mm. It was when you...well, never mind, that’s not important.”  Deanna filed that bit of information away for later.  She wondered what had happened after Beverly’s husband passed away.

“I guess we were all last together for Wesley’s thirteenth birthday?”  Jean-Luc nodded. 

“Three years ago?” 

“Mm, the _Horatio_ was about to head off for a deep space mission....six years, was it?” 

“I believe so. Walker had congratulated me on getting the _Enterprise_ and then announced his long mission.  I wondered if he had felt slighted for not being offered this ship.”  Beverly shook her head. “Oh no, not at all. Walker knew you were the right Captain for the job.”  She moved her hand to his knee and patted it. 

“Thank you.”  Deanna continued to observe the couple, and honestly wasn’t sure why she was there. “Captain,  I’m not sure why you asked me to join you.  I think you and Beverly need some time alone to process the loss of your best friend.”

“Yes, thank you.  I don’t want there to be any questions...later...”  He trailed off.  Beverly rolled her eyes. “I’m going to spend the night in Jean-Luc’s quarters.”  Deanna tried her best to conceal her shock and surprise. “I see.  And you want me to....” 

“Just make sure no one talks, Counsellor.”

“Of course, sir.”

###

Beverly and Jean-Luc were lying in bed together, their fingers entwined.  Beverly had her head resting on Jean-Luc’s chest and he found himself picking strands of her long, fiery tresses from his mouth. He didn’t mind.  “I think Walker knew.” 

“Knew what?”

“About us.  I know he suspected. Did you ever tell him?”

“How I felt? No, not really. Though, I think he always knew.  I hardly hid my feelings for you, Beverly.”  He kissed the top of her head. 

“Well, I didn’t know.  Not until after Jack died, anyway.  Is that why you spent so much time away from me?” 

“I didn’t want to...seem as if I was trying to...well....I just wasn’t sure if it was the right time or not.”  Beverly slid a leg across Jean-Luc’s hips to straddle him.  “I wish you had told me sooner.”

“So do I.”  Beverly leaned down and kissed him deeply, and he rolled the couple over.  “Again?”

“What can I say? I’m insatiable.”

###

They were showering together in the morning when Beverly broke down.  She clung to Jean-Luc under the hot spray and sobbed for the loss of their friend.  His loss frightened her, more than the loss of Jack had.  Jean-Luc got them out of the shower and quickly notified Will that neither one of them would be reporting for duty. 

_“Understood, Sir I know you both were close with Captain Keel...”_

“Yes, thank you, Number One. I will speak with you later about what Captain Keel and I discussed. Picard out.”

“You should...check on Wesley....”  Beverly whispered.  She was curled up on the corner of the sofa, wrapped in Jean-Luc’s terry cloth bathrobe.  He nodded. “Picard to Ensign Crusher.”

_“Crusher here. Sir, is Mom alright?”_

“Ah...no, Wes.  We’re taking the morning off.  How are you doing?” 

 _“I’m alright, Sir.  I’ll miss Uncle Wally, though.”_  Jean-Luc grinned.  Walker was still Uncle Wally to Wes, but he had become Captain once Wesley had found out they would be on the _Enterprise_. “I know, son. I know.  Why don’t you join us for Lunch today in my quarters? I think your mother and I will be staying here today.” 

 _“Ok Should I bring Mom anything?”_ Jean-Luc smiled.  Doesn’t even bat an eye that we’re together right now.  He glanced over at Beverly once more, who was hugging her knees.  “She’s wearing my bathrobe right now.  Perhaps something casual?  Her usual jumper and leggings?” 

 _“Sure.  Do you want me to bring it over now for her?”_ Jean-Luc debated the offer.  It wouldn’t be the first time Wesley had been around him when he was wearing pyjamas, but would Beverly want Wesley to see her like this?  On the other hand, seeing Wes might cheer her up.  “If you aren’t busy.”

_“Nah.  I don’t have class for another hour.”_

“Alright. See you soon. Picard out.”  He strode over to the replicator.  “Tea?”  Beverly hadn’t responded so he glanced over at her.  “Bev?”

“Ok.”   He grimaced to himself and adjusted the towel he had wrapped around his waist.  He ordered a pot of tea, then added a half dozen croissants and Beverly’s favourite apricot Jam.  He set them down on the table and lightly touched her shoulder. “I’m going to put some shorts on.”  She nodded and accepted a cup of tea.  “Do you want anything?”

“My feet are cold.”  He smiled and pressed a kiss to her forehead. “One pair of socks, coming up.”

Jean-Luc pulled Beverly’s legs into his lap and he placed the socks on her feet. “They’re a bit big, sorry.” 

“Thanks.” Jean-Luc rested his hand on her leg. “Wesley is going to bring you some clothing so you don’t have to wear mine all day. Do you want to talk before he gets here?” She nodded.

“When Jack died...well, you know what happened.”  He nodded. “You needed Walker and me to help you cope.” She nodded. “And you two were my rocks.  You helped organise the funeral, you spoke with Jack’s parents, you made sure Wesley bathed and ate...you took care of me.  So Walker’s death....it feels like Jack’s death all over again. Of course, I’ve never been involved with Walker, but I’m with you now and I guess his loss makes me afraid that I’ll lose you one day.” Jean-Luc leaned over and pressed another kiss to her forehead. “I intend on sticking around for quite some time, my love.  You’ll have to try real hard to lose me.”  She smiled slightly. “But...what if on an away mission...like Jack...and Tasha...and now Walker...”

“You go on far more away missions than I do. You don’t think I don’t sit there in my center chair with my heart in my throat the entire time you’re off the ship?” 

“Sorry.”

“Nothing to be sorry for.  It’s the nature of our jobs. We knew what we signed up for.”  Beverly inched closer to him on the sofa and sat in his lap.  “Yeah.  Doesn’t make it any easier, though.”   She leaned up and kissed him.  “I love you. Have I told you?”

“Not in words, no.”  Jean-Luc rested a hand on her hip and gave it a squeeze.  “I hope you know, I love you too.” 

“I know.”  They kissed again and when Wesley arrived with the bag for his mother, he merely rolled his eyes when he saw them wrapped around each other.

“Mom, Captain.”  Jean-Luc grinned from behind Beverly. “You know, Wes, when we’re not on the bridge, you _are_ allowed to call me Jean-Luc.  Or Uncle, if you still want to.”  Wesley grinned. “Sorry, Sir. Mom, I brought you some clothing.”  Beverly slid off Jean-Luc’s lap to take the bag from Wesley.  “Thanks. I’ll be right back.”  She closed the bedroom door and Jean-Luc turned to Wesley. “Coffee?”

“Please.” 

“Wes, I’m sorry if you feel we ignored you last night.  We should have thought about how Walker’s death was affecting you too.”  Wesley waved his hand. “Nah. Mom needed you. Like when Dad died.” Jean-Luc nodded. “You remember that?”

“Yeah.  You and Uncle Wally took care of me for two weeks...and Mom.” 

“Well, that’s what friends do for each other, Wes.”  Wesley grinned at the Captain. “Friends?  I thought you loved mom?” 

“I do, Wesley.  More than anything.” 


End file.
